Tuesday, July 25, 2006
thoughts


it's like a blender in my head! that goes...WHIRRRRR!!!!!!!! all the thoughts, feelings...but nothing a lil carnal scream wont be able to help!


brokenheart3:00 AM

Wednesday, July 05, 2006
ages


i noe i haven ben bloggin for ages. it seems like aeons ago! so many wonderful things happened and so too many un-wonderful things. too much.

frens lost, new ones found. but i dont want to lose frens, and i dont want to choose between two frens. if anyone were to ask me to choose, i'll not choose and be adamant abt it. if they meet me again in a week's time or a month's time or even a year's time, i still wont choose. if they are still ever so persistent, then i would have to make a choice would i? but it's gonna be a hard one. the guy/gal that does so will get to see a side of me i rarely portray. in fact, it's a side i dont want to portray. i dont like it. it's like, the ugly side of me you noe? and when i do make that choice, i wont be in the right state of mind.

and also im not the violent type. in fact, the character that i recently played, Darius, was a total opposite of me. he is someone hu is arrogant, selfish, ignorant, narrow-minded, tempremental, neglectant(is there even such a word?), bully, violent, provokes people, belittles others, thinks too highly of himself. SEE? the people that noe me noes that im not like that. haha. in fact im very, very not like dat.

and if ppl were to pick a fight with me i'd try to stay calm and collected. notice the word, "try". it's because if the other party were to pick a topic that is close to me to pick on, like any of my loved ones or close friends, i'll defend them and i mite get a little carried away in doing it.

wat abt my happenings? fuh! many many things happen happen.
macam boleh buat bollywood movie sey.


brokenheart2:34 PM

Friday, June 02, 2006


this topic may seem very overblogged about but here i am in the interest of blogging about it again. what im going to blog abt is...love

but i'm not going into the details of what is love, where to find love, why should we love, etc, etc. what i wanna blog abt is the essence of love.

love is a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

and also, love is just a chemical reaction that happens in the brain when you see that special someone.

need i say more?



brokenheart12:40 PM

Thursday, May 25, 2006


it's frustrating, just frustrating. to not be able to find a reason for feeling hopeless. to not being able to find out why i was feeling shitty. jus for dat few moments, from jus before our last rehearsal to when we were abt to pack up. i just felt like it was all hopeless n i cant do anything abt it. i jus cant seem to see thru this. and it feels jus so wrong, performing like dat to the audience even though i wasnt feeling upbeat. it feels like i was lying to the audience. it's like im telling them that everything's fine! the world is all fine and dandy. to wear a facade to the audience is sumthing a performer should be able to do. no matter wat happens, the show must go on. no matter if you feel like shit, a piece of crap, the god damn scum of the universe, the show must go on.

the. show. must. go. on.

im still feeling the remnants of it. im still feeling a bit down n out. i still feel like i cant get on with it. why do i feel so bad? whats this sense of...impending doom.....this sense of tragedy...this sense of hopelessness...and you just cant do anything abt it.

AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

this jus sucks.....n i have a performance....and it's nt abt wat U think it is...


brokenheart12:18 AM

Sunday, May 14, 2006


ok, here are some pix dat was taken of raorao's LJ. enjoy!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24


brokenheart2:24 AM




wow K! i totally believe it now abt wat u told me. abt me nt having a pick up line but sumthin else. haha. n fadz, ash, mato or huever was there jus now; i wasnt steaming up the girls lah. was jus entertaining them since they asked for an encore!

n to e ppl outside hu dun understand a word im saying, lemme start from e top.....
----------------------------------------------
today, 23 ppl from DramaTec n abt 4 ppl from Samba were invited to go to the....Esplanade Backstage Tour!!! (say it wif gusto)

starting only, got headache. supposed to meet at city hall mrt at 945. i gt there a bit late at 10 n guess wat? only 7 ppl were ard! where's the 17 other ppl!!! one by one they came....even fadz was late. but ash dint mind as there were quite a few chicks to look at. in e end fadz told us to go on ahead to e esplanade. i had to be the defacto leader at that tym so i jus guided them along. since most were girls , wif e exception of 2 guys, they were happily sashaying along while me n ash had to hurry. btw, ash was considered my assistant then. he was known as the ashistant. "Acid Ashistant" to be precise. had to hurry them up hafway thru as they were too slow. even the Samba congregation (of 4) overtook them n ended up at esplanade b4 us.

when fadz 5nalli came, we had 2 be divided into 2 groups as we were quite a large number. one led by me n the other by fadz. surprisingly, e freshies cldnt decide which one to follow so i was asked to take charge the more docile Samba congregation (of 4) n abt 5 quieter freshies. we were led by Cristal hu headed us to the concert hall 1st n luckily, or unluckily, for us the Singapore Symphonic Orchestra was having a rehearsal. therefore we werent allowed in e actual hall but we managed to see them perform live for us. aint it cool?

when we went to the other hall, we were led by Cindy. she was surprised at how much more quieter we were compared to e previous grp. n so she led us to the stage of e theatre. IT IS FREAKIN HUGE I TELL U!!! jus e stage (exclusive of stage right n stage left) was abt 23ft by 19 ft. but the entire backstage was like so BIG dat it could actualli fit a concorde (plane) in it! how u get it in is jus a minor detail ar. imagine if DT had made e AGM there! the number of audience dat came wouldnt even make a dent in e seating capacity. it could actualli sit 1,905 ppl max! AGM had only abt 90+- ppl.

then we headed of to check out the dressing rooms. it looks quite posh for a one person room! and me n e guys went of to the......ESPLANADE BACKSTAGE TOILET!!!! it aint often dat we managed to get into e Esplanade Backstage Toilet. hahaha.

after the tour, we were then led to their Arts Cafe for light refreshment. but jus b4 we were reunited with e rest of e DT gang. there, we were were served chicken rice n chips n nachos n epok-epok. with free flow of drinks! (orange juice n hot tea n coffee only, nuttin more) n to those ppl dat haf been there, u guys noe dat there is a mic n guitar at e corner of Arts Cafe so me n Fadz decided to perform for our freshies n e Samba ocngregation (of 4) an encore of wat we did at AGM. luckily for us, e cafe owner is a fren of harbi n harbi was our spokespeson to ask for permission. so we performed e lifehouse song "you and me" and also our own song.

after dat, e grp of freshies (rmbr, all girls{n 2 guys}) wanted n encore again but fadz was tired i suppose n so i jus entertained them by singing a few songs for them n one of which is "Your Body Is A Wonderland" by John Mayer. that was when fadz said dat i was steaming up the girls; which isnt relli true but some of them were like fanning themselves wif their hands but dat is beside the point. one girl however was quite........worried dat she didnt feel a thing which is ok lah.

n i think i'll cont dis some other tym lah, still gt looooooong way to go.......
----------------------------------------------
i think i shld stop. shld i?


brokenheart1:37 AM

Saturday, May 13, 2006


i didnt have much idea on wat to wryt. but makngah gave me an idea......
----------------------------------------------
it all starts with A. in fact, a lot of things. like my name for example. n oso dats y most of e tym im reg num1 in class. hahaha.

a lot of things oso start wif A. like cusses (asshole), praises (astounding), etc, etc.

n oso alcohol, Abu Dhabi, ayam, Ah Seng, Ali Baba

A is such a powerful word, use it wif care.

wif great power, comes great responsibility!
----------------------------------------------
haha, so dats wat i came up wif. jus crappin ard. jus like i always do. aniway, cant wait for tmr. goin 2 esplanade!!! wuhooo!!! hope to put up e pix soon!!!


brokenheart12:28 AM

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i can run but i cant hide
from your looming shadow
tracing my every breath
hanging on my every stutter
i feel your presence drawing near

the clock freezes in this frame
but your murmurs edge themselves deeper
within the crevices of my mind
like an enchantment

i can run but i cant hide
you will always be there
to bring on the pain